Friday, August 31, 2012

Playing Catch up... and making a confession....

So, you all saw my update on the baby shower and the birth of our first Grand baby Michael..
I have to say that I never expected to feel some of the feelings that I have experienced.  Some good and honestly some not so good.  Let me just get honest for a minute.  You see, we all live including Katie's parents within 20 miles of each other and to be honest I struggled in the beginning with jealousy... I had a fear that Katie's family would get alot more time with Michael and get to be more involved in his life than we would.  Just from the aspect of girls usually stay really close to their families even after getting married.  Katie is no except to that...she is very close to her family, they talk daily and usually when Brandon is at work she goes and stays with them (before Michael).  I honestly wouldnt have wanted a girl in my son's life that wasnt close to her family being that we too are very close to our boys.  In fact....that is exactly what I prayed for for many years.  I early on (first 2 weeks) worried that Michael would know them better and be closer to them.  I worried that he would be spending all of the special holidays with them and we would get the left overs.  I KNOW IM CRAZY, RIGHT......  But like I said, I was experiencing a jealousy I didnt see coming especially since we are all very close.  Well, let me just clear it up right has NOT happened.  I got myself all worked up for NOTHING.  I hate when I do that.  Katie has done a GREAT job keeping everyone really involved.  I think it really helps that we all get along so well so therefore we celebrate and spend many weekends together.  It has nothing to do with me getting "my" time or even holding him, it is really just about getting to share his life.
As I sit here I keep thinking about deleting this post because I feel so ashamed and ugly that I could have even allowed myself to go there.
I guess why I am wanting to write about it is because I want to remind myself and maybe even help someone else to realize not to get mad or emotional over the "what if's".  Relationships can be damaged by this action.  Words that can never be taken back can be said and wounds are
 I have found that 90% of the time the "what if" never even happens or if it does it's not in a negative way.
I have to remind myself that God did give the ability to exercise self control and I can choose how or when I react to a situation.
Michael is actually VERY BLESSED due to the fact he is VERY loved and we as a family (both sides) adore him AND each other.  I honestly would not want it any other way than the way it is and will be.
Can I have permission to chucking all those feelings up to menopause?????  Hormones???? Ok....just please give me grace and a pass.....(as I chuckle out loud!!!)

Here are a few of Michael's 1st so far..

Brandon & Michael's 1st Father's Day - Brandon & Katie's house for a cookout...Both sides of the family were able to celebrate together.
Michael's 1st Swim Party
Michael's 1st 4th of July - Katie's mom and dad's house

A few pictures from Michael's new born picture session
Feel free to leave your comments or wisdom below.....

1 comment:

J said...

I think beautiful Katie very wisely understands that it is in her beloved son's best interest to have as many loving, involved relatives as possible. I have 3 daughters and have also found that the MIL "jokes" don't apply to my relationship with my wonderful sons-in-law. We are both blessed in this regard!