Thursday, February 17, 2011

Men...what example do they exhibit to our sons? What is a real man?

I came across this question today and found it interesting.  I guess it depends on who you ask.
Over the years I have seen my "MAN" change.  When we were young he was short tempered, full of pride, and felt no one but him had the right answers.  Over time through life experiences and him being in the word much more, he has changed.  He now according to Titus 2:2, 6-8  is now a "real man."  Dont get me wrong he does slipped back into that "boy" stage every once in a while, but, his desire is to be as Titus teaches.
I dont want to say that I have "regrets" raising our boys even though we made A LOT of mistakes.  I look at those mistakes as a time of teaching our children about asking forgiveness, giving forgiveness, humility, and not to take yourself too serious all the time.  But....I do wish that this verse would have been more of a driving force in our household and example when they were young.  Thank God it is never to late to be that example and admit you didn't know it all when we were raising our children.  Start NOW....Even though ours are adults, and even if they dont want to admit it, they do still on some level watch and listen to us (their father) for direction and wisdom.
And when it becomes time for us to become Mimi and grandpa (he has not clue what he wants to be called) he and we will again get the chance to model this truth to a new generation.
So stop and think...
"What is a "Real Man"  society tells us what they feel is a real man.  Funny thing doesn't resemble what Titus speaks of at all. you are looking for your life time mate....use this scripture and ask yourself if he is what you and your future children need and desire.  Dont go in hoping to change them or them change on their own.  That is a disaster waiting to happen.

                                          Picture taken at our oldest son's wedding.  I have to say I am SO proud of how they turned
                                                       out, knowing it was not because of who we were but because of who HE is.

Titus 2:2, 6-8 says:

Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is... good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

"So, according to these verses, what characteristics should a man possess?

1. Temperate A real man is able to control his emotions. He does not let anger, frustration, or any other emotion get the best of him. He controls his emotions, his emotions do not control him. Let it be noted that this does not by any stretch of the imagination mean a man should be emotion-LESS. It simply means that a man's emotions should not control how he acts.

2. Worthy of respect Simply put, a real man should show Christlike character. People should look at him as someone of good character and reputation.

3. Self-controlled This goes hand in hand with temperance. While temperance means that a man controls his emotions, self-control simply means that a man controls his actions.

4. Sound in faith A real man knows what he believes and does not compromise that. A real man has a firm foundation in God and His Word.

5. Sound in love A real man knows what love is, and how to show it to others. This is not the mushy-gushy feeling kind of love. This is Christlike love.

6. Sound in endurance A real man does not give up easily. His character is able to endure even when tested.

7. Seriousness This does not mean that a man cannot be funny. Rather, a man knows the proper time to be funny, but also knows when the time is not proper and is serious when he needs to be.

8. Soundness of speech A man guards his mouth. He uses his words to edify and exhort others, never to tear them down.

9. example I left this one until last because this is the one that I really want to expound upon. A man is a leader. This does not necessarily mean that he is in a position of leadership, but he always sets a good examples for those who watch him. Although not explicitly stated in Titus 2, a man also needs to be a leader with women. (Not necessarily all women in all circumstances, but as a general rule.)

I know some will disagree with me on this point, but in MY study of Scripture I have come to the firm conclusion that God meant for men to be the leaders.

This does not mean that men should "rule over" women. But men need to step up to the plate, to be the initiators and leaders, especially in relational and spiritual matters. This really is the best way, because it is the way God designed things to be."

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