Thursday, February 5, 2009

Pre-menopausal... Are they crazy?????

Ok...I know...nothing to worry about, so I am told.... Went to Dr. found out I am hormonal. My husband had the nerve to say "you think?" Now... here is the question???? Hormones are such a hot topic. It has made it's way through all of the main stream talk shows and most women's magazines. Depending on who you listen to will depend on whether or not you think hormones have health risks or not.... hmmm My jury is still out on the subject while I do more research. Along with my nice little hormone test came the wonderful... most pleasant... mammogram! Smash... crush...pull and tug!!! Thank God that is over with for the next year. I definitely had my scare this year... That dreaded call back..."We found something that we need to take a closer look at." Let's just say my world started spinning. On the day I received that phone call, at 4:00pm, we were heading out to my husband's step mother's wake. She lost her fight with breast cancer. Back in '91 we lost my husband's MOTHER to breast cancer and currently have a friend fighting the battle... Needless to say, that was the last phone call I needed that day. They asked me to come in that next morning at 8:30am. I went in feeling pretty confident until I saw the scans on the computer screen with the circle around the spot being questioned. I dismissed it as tissue being "squeezed" wrong. That is until they took my new scans and as I intensely watched the screen as my new pictures appeared... there is was... same spot...same view. They then asked me to go out to this waiting room where the Dr would come to find me after looking at the new scans. The Dr was not the one to come get me, it was another nurse leading me to another room. She opened the door and asked me to lay on the bed... they felt they needed to do a sonogram of the right breast. By this time due to the "fear", the stressful week and the worst part "NOT KNOWING", I was shaking and tears were rolling down my face. The technician finished and left the room to go get the Dr. She then came in and re-did the sonogram. I laid there nervous, running every situation through my head and how we would handle what ever news was coming. I started imagining how I would tell my children and my parents.....finally.......she said....."it's nothing....just a clump of vessels and a fluid filled cyst." The tears really started to flow, completely out of relief. I could say nothing other than "Praise God... Thank you Jesus!!!" My husband in the mean time was sitting in the waiting room waiting on me.... almost 2 hours later I appeared with a paper in my hand stating the findings. All he could do is look at that paper before finally looking up at me...Again... relief and thankfulness came over me and the tears started again. He finally got it out of me that I am fine. Nothing to worry about.... All this to say... our mind and the enemy can really play tricks on you. If we are not careful we can easily head down the road of doom and gloom with the first hint of a bump in our road. The enemy no doubt chose that day.... That very day we were visiting my husbands step mom in the funeral home, laying dead from the results she received from the one test that made me the most nervous. Afterwards I felt so silly for getting so upset and so nervous. I have since found out so many women have received that little phone call also with their results being just as mine. I will say... as I sat in one of those chairs waiting on the Dr to come and give me her report.... I many women sat there in that very spot just as I was and received very different news.....My heart literally ached for those women and how their lives and families would change.... During my little scare I realized that I sometimes am in too big of a hurry for my days to "just get over with" and to move on to the next day....No more... I will value and find at least one thing each day to hold on to that makes that day it's own lasting memory filled with peace and joy.......I am moving on past that day of awaking.....My focus is now on Brandon's up coming wedding and learning how to be the best mother-in-law me!! Becoming a new "MOTHER-IN-LAW AND HORMONAL" This should be good........

The newly engaged couple.... Brandon & Katie....We ARE blessed!!

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