Well, yesterday we received the dreaded news. James' hours were cut back. It will make a major difference in our income being that he is the only one working.
I found myself allowing the spirit of fear to come over me. Asking all of the questions.....how are we going to pay our utilities, house, food etc? Then a friend called me and reminded me that I must have faith. If we do all that is asked of us by God and stay faithful in all ways including our tithes, then, if we hit rock bottom that will be a reflection on God himself and His promises. Of course, with that being said.. the reflection may very well be that HE is with out a doubt teaching us, molding us, changing directions with us, stretching us. All while doing this He and I have allowed the enemy to play a little part in our current situation. The enemy is so smart but yet so dumb....He knows right where to hit each one of us and temped us in falling prey to his lies. I could feel his breath and words on my thoughts.
A friend shared with me and told me that the enemy may very well be distracting me and hitting me hard right now just to keep me from ministering to someone God has placed in my path. I believe I have been given the gift of encouragement and joy....what better way to keep me from sharing and touching others with what God has blessed me with then to steal it from me, to stifle it....hmmmm I know I still have that gift, it's just that "I" have chosen to hide it as the old song says....."under the bushel tree" deep within the thorns and weeds in that dark damp place. Nothing good can come from that, in fact mold and root rot actually will set in in those types of conditions.....so....... do I let the enemy rob me of this???? NO!!!
I refuse to go there!!!!! I will continue to say "I WILL TRUST YOU" even when I am not completely believing it, I will still testify and prophecy that over myself. He has done it in the past and he will do it again.
I just wonder.........how long.....how far.......how low.......and what am I to learn from this? I know that ALL things and situations that comes our ways are to strengthen and elevate "The Kingdom" for His glory!! I know my wine skin is being stretched and again.... I will say....."I trust you LORD"
His shoulders are big enough to handle my human emotions and my cries!!